My so-called Life
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My so-called Life
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No one knows the mysteries of life or its ultimate meaning, but for those who are willing to believe in their dreams and in themselves, life is a precious gift in which anything is possible.
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Monday, January 31, 2005
 LJAS Memories 
Friday, January 28, 2005
Awakening II
This is surely a "MUST READ"! I got this from Gia's forwarded message in our block's e-group...it surely is a "true awakening"! Hope you guys will like it too.It's kinda long, but it's worth it!
A time comes in your life when you finally get
it . . . When in the midst of all your fears and
insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out -
ENOUGH!!!!! Enough fighting and crying, or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting
down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to
subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet
lashes, you begin to look at the world through new
eyes.
This is your awakening...
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something.
To change, or for happiness, safety and security to
come galloping over the next horizon. You come to
terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming
and you are not Cinderella and that in the real
world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee
of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in
the process, a sense of serenity is born of
acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect
and that not everyone will always love, appreciate
or approve of who or what you are . . .
And that's OK. (They are entitled to their own
views and opinions.) And you learn the importance
of loving and championing yourself and in the
process, a sense of new found confidence is born
of self-approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the
things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on is
the unexpected. You learn that people don't
always say what they mean or mean what they
say and that not everyone will always be there for
you and that it's not always about you. So, you
learn to stand on your own and to take care of
yourself and in the process, a sense of safety &
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you
begin to accept people as they are and to overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties and in the
process, a sense of peace & contentment is born
of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself
and the world around you, is as a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained
into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the
crap you've been fed about how you should
behave, how you should look and how much you
should weigh, what you should wear and where
you should shop and what you should drive, how
and where you should live and what you should do
for a living, who you should marry and what you
should expect of a marriage, the importance of
having and raising children or what you owe your
parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and
different points of view. You begin reassessing and
redefining who you are and what you really stand
for. You learn the difference between wanting and
needing and you begin to discard the doctrines
and values you've outgrown, or should never have
bought into to begin with and in the process, you
learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive
and that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
Your learn that principles such as honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone
era, but the mortar that holds together the
foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not
your job to save the world and that you can't teach
a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between
guilt and responsibility and the importance of
setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You
learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the
stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and
familial love. How to love,how much to give in love,
when to stop giving and when to walk away.You
learn not to project your needs or your feelings
onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be
more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or
important because of the man on your arm or the
child that bears your name. You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you
would have them be. You stop trying to control
people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so
it is with love; And you learn that you don't have
the right to demand love on your terms just to
make you happy. You learn that alone does not
mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to
terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5
or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with
the image inside your head and agonizing over how
you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your
feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring
your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement
are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want
things and to ask for the things that you want and
that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect
and you won't settle for less. You allow only the
hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you
with his touch and in the process, you internalize
the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that
your body really is your temple. And you begin to
care for it and treat it with respect. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and
taking more time to exercise. You learn that
fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt
and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as
food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you
take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that
for the most part in life, you get what you believe
you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-
fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to
happen, is different from working toward making it
happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it
all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is
the great Robber baron of all time; FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears,
because you know that whatever happens you can
handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the
right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander
it living under a cloud of impending doom. You
learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always
get
what you think you deserve and that sometimes
bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions, you learn not to personalize
things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or
failing to answer your prayers; it's just life
happening. You learn to deal with evil in its most
primal state; the ego. You learn that negative
feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must
be understood and redirected or they will suffocate
the life out of you and poison the universe that
surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are
wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in
many of the simple things we take for granted;
things that millions of people upon the earth can
only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running
water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly,
you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by
yourself and you make yourself a promise to never
betray yourself and to never ever settle for less
than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind,
and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and
with God by your side you take stand, you take a
deep breath and you begin to design the life you
want to live as best as you can.
Monday, January 24, 2005
F.R.I.E.N.D.S: Now and Then
Friendship: Now and Then
Distance is really not an issue! You could keep a relationship going on even if you're miles apart, it's a matter of trust,communication, and giving value to each other.
In our case, we have been friends for almost 7 years and it was only through our kiddie, immature way of lives that our friendship bloomed. We were called the "BSG" back then, yeah i know it's corny and all, but you couldn't blame us, we were kids who were on our quest to becoming teenagers, we were entering the HS life. We were so engrossed with the "POP world" (hint na un...hehe) and we would read the made-up scripts of jazette about US and some people...haha and that was the start of the friendship we didn't knew would last these long. As we entered our HS years, Jam and Maricar weren't longer studying in PISCO , Jam went to Australia and Maricar went back to the Phils, then as we ended our freshmen year,it was Jaz's turn to leave and continue her studies here,Phils. Then came our sophomore years, i could say that we've matured by then, Sarah, Joyce, Dianne, and I were no longer that engrossed with the POP world (although we still like it) and a new friendship developed among us and Avi, Joy, and Arlette. You could say that this new friendship that we have is of a different kind, and that would be for a different entry...hehe So on our third year, my partner and bestfriend , Dianne told us that she wouldn't be able to finish her junior year cause they would be migrating to Canada the following year (2001). Despite all those departures (nice choice of words Leeann!), we still kept in touch, they sent us pictures, letters, and we e-mailed each other as often as we could and sometimes we would call each other. However, as we entered our senior year in HS, our communication with each other lessened and then came our college years,we never thought that we would still be seeing each other again (in the case of Jam) but we did see each other again (except nga lng kina Jazette and Dianne). 2 weeks ago we had a girls' dayout with Jam and Maricar and we spent the whole day with each other, talking, eating, watching,"window shopping" hehe, and reminiscing those good 'ol days. When we were on our way home, Joyce and I were doing some reflections on what happened to our day, and she said, "Parang tau pa rin un same LeeAnn, Joyce, Maricar, and Jam nun Gr 6 tau, nagbago lng un mga istura natin and medyo may nadagdag lng ng mga real-life stuff, like college, work and lovelife...hehe"
We may have different lives now and different set of friends, but whenever we think about those old friends that we had, it really makes you smile when up until now you still have them.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
THE AWAKENING!!!
HeeeeLLLLooOOO!!! oh Yes i'm back again! You guys thought this blog was dead already huh?! na-uh-uh...
So as usual there are lots of things that had happened since i've been gone for more than a month and my reason: KATAMARAN! haha. Well, to start of its 2005 already, yeah! Boy, time really flies that fast!!!
Hmm... i'm really not planning to write / type a lot of words, just jot down some thoughts about life...well it's more of what i'm goin' to do with my life now that it's a NEW year... new WALK, new PERSPECTIVE, new HOPE, new CHALLENGES... new ME!!! I thought of sharing the message the pastor gave last week cause it really inspired me to face this year with a new attitude...a good one of course! I'll just type it the way i wrote it in my notepad and i won't elaborate on it. hehe.
FORWARD THINKING
text: Philippians 3:12-14
"Not that i have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but i press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
COMPLACENCE: calm or secure satisfaction; SELF-SATISFACTION
"Mamaya na" habit/ " Siesta" habit
- Aspire Positive Thought v. 13
=> if you are willing to cahnge your thinking, you can change your feelings
=> if you change your feelings, you can change your actions
=> and changing your actions base on good thinking, CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
"...one thing i do: not to stare at the past but to focus on to what lies ahead..."
- Aim for A Higher Commitment v. 14
=> Never think POOR because it produces NEGATIVE progress.
=> Never think AVERAGE because it NEVER produces progress.
=> Think EXCELLENCE because it PRODUCES progress!
Your Life and My Life Today is but just the result of the way we think Yesterday!
So that ladies and gentlemen are what i'll be working on with my life this time on (i know it'll be hard but i will keep my focus on reaching and aiming for my goal!), having a forward thinking and I do pray that everyone of us will also aim for this kind of thinking. I do believe this will make our world a better place to live in & it will help us understand what it means to live our life to the fullest. *winks*
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