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Sunday, December 12, 2004

FAMILY MATTERS

I conditioned myself that i won't face the computer until all my exams are finished. But, there's this sudden urge to check my mail and read the messages of my parents and there's lots of things/learnings i wanted to share.

First stop (lighter side of my entry): I took the National Medical Admission Test today at the college of St. Benilde. I wasn't able to sleep well cause i was a bit anxious of taking the test but i just placed all my anxieties in God's hands and it went well for me. I didn't find the test that hard nor was it easy...it was just fine! The computation of the math test took a lot of time and i wasn't able to solve for most of the problems and so since we have to finalize our answers i have no choice but to shade whatever circle i chose to shade...hehe The test was from 7:41am to 3:21pm and we had a break from 11-12:30pm.It was quite tiring but im glad it's over and we just have to wait for the results 6 weeks from now. If i didn't get my aimed grade, i would take the test again this April..sbi nga nila: aim high!!! It's a good thing there's no failing grade in this kind of test, it's just a matter of grade-competition! Oh and by the way, since im in this University wherein u really couldn't spot for the "real-guy" and u've got this general notion of med guys who aren't really "guys" or they've got this "nerdy-look", well i was proved wrong: "daming future prospects" and as in they're for REAL ha *grins mischievously*...juz kiddin'! Of course i'll still go for d' ONE-my soulmate pero sana he's a doctor din plus d looks...haha juz kiddin' again...what's important is the "love" component...hehe but who knows?! ;)

Moving on the more serious part of my entry: Had a talk with Avi and take note of this- it's a phone talk (manila landline-cavite landline)! I wonder what would avi's reaction would be when she gets her phonebill?! Anyway,at first it was the usual "kamustahan-chikas" and at the latter part she poured her sentiments and started crying.It's nice to see how much we have grown and matured. Comparing the phonetalks we had when we were in our HS days where we talked about our "barkada tampuhans","our so-called lovelife","fears of ending our HS life", now we would talk about more serious matter, like our family,future plans, and life and its complexity.Sooner or later those talks would be about our career/jobs,our 'real' lovelife or even our own family,life and death.

The much serious part of my entry:The e-mails i got from my parents. First is my Daddy's email wherein he talked about Mommy's being a deaconess in church and for the first time they would both attend the board meetings.I could still remember whenever Daddy comes home from the board meetings, mommy would ask Dad 'bout what happened to the meeting and now mommy would no longer ask Daddy coz she would also be there too.Next in line is Mommy's email, i shed some tears cause it was a reply to my email wherein i was telling them that i need some help coz i'm losing my sense of direction in life.And here's her reply:

Hello kids

It's been a loooong time since my last email
to you. Well, I'm back to work today and trying to do the things that I
left undone before I took my one week vacation. But before anything else,
I just wanna drop down some lines for you.

Lee-ann, I feel for you daughter. I
understand what you're going through, but remember it's only by faith that
anyone could attain the things that you want to. You know, try to have
more faith in God and in your self. Alam mo mahirap talaga ang ma
frustrate but if you try your best to overcome those frustration in life by
God's grace everything will be fine with you. Anak sana huwag kang
panghinaan ng loob. Try to fix yourself. Kung ano ang mga failures
mo in the past try to regain in it and that you will be well again. Andito
lang kami to support you morally and even financially. Try to attain your
dream whatever it may cost. Sabi nga try and try until you succeed.
By the way, baka naman kailangan mong magkaroon ng break sa school. You've
been studying continuesly since you started to go to school then if God
permits that you gonna go to Medical school lalo pang matagal. So, i would
just have a suggestion. Try to finish your BSBio and then if you want, you can
comeback here and try to find job. Now, if you will be ready to go back to
school then you pursue it later. Please don't feel so bad with
yourself. Nangyayari talaga yan, but try to get up as soon as you
can. Seek God's guidance and His divine wisdom, I am sure he will not fail
you as he promised in His word. He will never leave you nor forsake
you. But, "seek His Kingdom first and all these things will be added unto
you."

Being the eldest of your siblings, you should be
proud of it. You know what, it is an honor and privilege for you being the
eldest because all the respect and responsiblities are being held in your hand
and that is one thing that you should be thank for sa God. Alam mo mahirap
man pero masarap ang feeling kung nagagawa mo yung responsiblities mo being
one. Cheer up! Everything will be well with you, okay.

Joyce and JC, you have to support and cooperate
with your sister. alam ninyo naman siguro ang kanyang mga dinadaanan sa ngayon,
emotionally and spiritually. You have to build each others up. Try
to be considerate and cooperate with her, okay. That's what are siblings
for. Tignan ninyo, noong dumating si Auntie Wilma ninyo dito, we tried to
reminish yung aming nakaraan noong kami ay mga bata pa. At nakakatuwa dahil,
hindi namin alam naabot namin yung kinaroroonan namin ngayon through the help of
our parents at sa strong determination namin to attain the ladder of success na
sinasabi nila. Well, I hope na maging ganoon din kayo. You have to
continue to give the due respect to each other and love one another as God loves
us. Mag aral kayo ng mabuti at yan lang ang tanging maipapamana namin sa
inyo. We don't have that wealth to give in the future other that your
education kaya you have to treasue it. Study hard and have that strong
determination to attain your goals in life by God's grace and mercy.

Lee-ann, we are praying hard very hard that
you'll give all your best to pass the NMAT on Sunday. God bless you anak,
and be patient. Joyce, indeed, we are so proud of you anak. You
really have done your best to maintain your standing and we hope and pray that
it will continue till you finish the course. It's a great help for
us. JC, you are so great in writing, I know malayo rin ang iyong
mararating, son. We are so very proud of you all. Si Auntie Wilma
ninyo ay panay puri sa inyo at nakakataba ng puso.

Okay, I guess these all for now. I have to
work na. Please do write us often times.

Take care always, I miss you and I love you very
much.

Love,
Mom


Then there's another email from my mom but this time its a forwarded message from my Aunt Wilma, it's a letter to her siblings. I guess Mommy forwarded it to us so that we could see how important it is to value our family and all the hardships in life that we face.

Dear Myrna, Richard, Dodie and
Arlene,


Seven days went by so fast. Leaving
Abu Dhabi without all of you hurt. I will treasure all the moments and
experiences we had together as a family even in a short time. There is not
any amount of money that can buy the time we spent together while I was
there. I now feel a little at ease coming home knowing you are in a safe
place and are all doing fine. Continue supporting each other and I will do
my part from a distance.

I have observed how much we all do care for one
another. We have different personalities, but it all sum up to having that
love and respect for one another is quite something to be said about us.
We are very lucky to have had a very strong foundation early on in our
lives. We have to thank our parents for doing such a nice job raising six
wonderful children during those trying times. They made all of us their
priority. We all have endured those difficult times and took it as
motivation to succeed in life. This is something our parents must be proud
about. The product of their labor shows amongst us.

Myrna, my dear little sister, you have a
wonderful husband and children. You are very loving and caring. I know you
better than the rest of the family as we spent more time together growing
up. You helped me a lot during my school years even with your little
income. I admired you for having gone through college, working full time, going
to school after work and still maintained getting good grades. I felt very
bad for having an easier life when I was in school than you had. I feel very
connected with you now than ever. Raising our own children seemed to have
made us both appreciate more of how much our parents went through with us.
It has not been easy for them, with all of us wanting to go to college. We all
tried to not repeat the poverty we experienced growing up. In reality,
although we are more financially stable compared to them, at least they had more
quality time with us than I have with my kids. I feel that I had to work
to give them a better life in a very competitive lifestyle. I probably
spent more time working than the time I had with them. It is a shame, as they
too will probably go through the same process as we are going through with
them.

Jewel is a good girl. Her personality
right now is part of growth and development. She is trying to gain
independence which sometimes difficult for parents to let go. We all want
to keep shielding them from outside influences, but you are not with them
24/7. All we can do as parents is making sure they know we love
them. You made me very concerned about what you are noticing with her
psychologically. Please try to make an appointment with a psychologist to
make an assessment of her condition, as you do not want her to fail in
life. She seemed very distant with me. I felt bad for not having
more time spent with her and Vanessa. The time was not enough for us to
bond.
Nestor, as I can see, is very tolerant of you. You never showed
your short fuses while I was at your house until we were at the airport the
other night. I noticed of a bit resemblance of me with Dick at
times. Sometimes it is a pity for not being able to hold our temper, call
it hormonal imbalance, a part of aging process. You made me feel a little
bit uneasy. We are blessed to have good husbands who are supportive,
loving and kind. I admire you both for your strong faith. It was
impressive seeing you and Nestor pray a lot. Dick and I pray a lot also,
but not as demonstrative as you are. I thank you for your good heart and
hospitality.

Dodie, you surprised me with your good sense of
humor. You made me laugh just by looking at you. You make things so
bearable in life. You are the most industrious, generous, caring, loving
and gentle person I have ever met. I never heard you complain when you're
asked to do something except when I asked you to go for a walk downtown to
window shop. I fully understood your resentment, as men normally do not
like to shop. With the kind of person you are, you could have been a very
good nurse. You have all the good qualities of a nurse. With your good
personality, you win a lot of people. I am hoping you straighten up your
life back home. I feel badly for Igi Boy.

Arlene, my dear little sister, you amazed me
with your strength. You have grown to be very assertive and
unafraid. I do not worry much about you now as you have shown confidence
in dealing with a lot of things while I was there. You are doing such a
nice job raising Vanessa on your own. I feel very strongly that you want
the best for her. I can see how much you are trying to have that fatherly
love for her. Hopefully, Stephen can fill in that void. In the
meantime, Richard, Dodie and Nestor can give that to her. You are very
caring, loving, thoughtful and generous.

Richard, I am so glad for having you there in
Abu Dhabi. You are quite behind from all us, but at least you had time to
have gotten to know your family you left behind. This is your chance to
regain what you have lost in the last few years. Get up, get motivated, help
yourself and we are here to help you climb that ladder again. This is not
just for yourself, but also for your children. You need to have that confidence
in yourself. Have Myrna and Arlene practice interview skills with
you. Employers like people with confidence. You too are loving,
caring, kind and gentle.

I enjoyed my time in Abu Dhabi. You filled in
that void that I have been feeling for years. It is not going to change
how I feel during the holidays, but seeing all of you, where you live makes me a
little bit comfortable. I appreciated all of your generosity and
hospitality. I am hoping that all of us will be reunited in the U.S. real
soon. It may take a little longer for you Myrna and your family, but there
is hope. Keep thinking positive. Maintain your good faith and more
blessings will come upon us. Thank you for all the "pasalubongs".
You are all so dear to me. I love all of you.

Love,
Manang Wilma



Siblings could be irritating often times,and as the eldest you have to be patient enough (but not me! i lose my temper easily..haha), "mapaubaya", and the responsibilities that goes with it but nevertheless its such a great feeling when you gather yourselves up and laugh at stupid jokes or cry together after a petty fight. We know as we grow older, joyce, jayz, jewel, & me would still be there to share those jokes, those tears, even the clothes & make-ups (that goes for me and joyce, & maybe si jewel din...since dalaga na sya ;)) hehe We know in our hearts we have established that deep sibling relationship that no money,no land, no nothing could break and that's because we were raised by such good parents and we make GOd the center of our family. That explains it all!

I love my family so much!!!


link | posted by Lee-Ann at 11:50 PM |


1 Comments:

Blogger Lainnir, the Wanderer commented at 10:55 PM~  

Wow, ate leeann, I'm moved...:D

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